Pilot/Sabrina, a tini boszorkány
Sabrina, The Teenage Witch
Teleplay By - Nell Scovell
Television Story By - Barney Cohen & Kathryn Wallack
Transcribed By - Paul Booth
Sabrina - Melissa Joan Hart
Hilda - Caroline Rhea
Zelda - Beth Broderick
Salem - Nick Bakay
Harvey - Nate Richert
Jenny - Michelle Beaudoin
Libby - Jenna Leigh Green
Mr Pool - Paul Feig
Skippy - Teller
Cassandra - Deborah Harry
Edward - Robby Benson
Drell - Penn Jillette
Cee Cee - Melissa Murray
Jill - Bridget Flanery
Mrs Hecht - Ren Woods
Student - Shaun Weiss
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in this transcript, nor do I own any rights to the television show Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. It was created by Nell Scovell and belongs to her, Viacom Productions Inc, Hartbreak Films, and the ABC Television network. The characters are based on the original characters appearing in Archie Comics.
Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Shortly after midnight, Sabrina's sixteenth birthday has just started bringing with it a very special inheritance. She is fast asleep dreaming teenage dreams as ever so slowly she begins rise up to float three feet above her bed. Sabrina sleeps on unaware. There’s the sound of footsteps on stairs and a whispering voice.
Zelda- (OS) Just let me check. Her sixteenth birthday started five minutes ago.
The bedroom door opens and Sabrina’s two aunts enter.
Zelda- (Cont.) Oh look Hilda, she’s levitating right on schedule.
Hilda- Lets wake her up and tell her she’s a witch.
Zelda- No. Let her sleep. She starts her new school tomorrow, besides the first levitation is so special.
Hilda- Yeah, but then it gets old real quick.
Zelda- I can’t believe our little niece is growing up. Wait till Sabrina finds out what new doors this will open for her.
Hilda- Wait till she finds out you still get zits when you're six hundred years old.
Zelda- Well we’d better go before she wakes up.
They start to leave but Zelda finds it hard to draw her eyes away from her sleeping niece.
Zelda- (Cont.) So sweet, so innocent, just the perfect little witch.
Hilda takes her Sister by the arm and drags her from the room, closing the door quietly behind them. Sabrina sleeps on.
Run opening credits
Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda’s behind the breakfast counter, Hilda’s sat at the table eating breakfast as Sabrina comes down the stairs with her school bag and holding her pet cat Salem in her arms.
Zelda- Good morning. Happy birthday Sabrina.
Hilda- And many more to come.
Zelda- Many, many more to come. I ah, got you a little something.
She picks up a wrapped box and brings it over to the table.
Hilda- Actually that’s from both of us. I just forgot to sign the card.
Zelda hands the birthday present to Sabrina.
Zelda- I hope you don’t already have one.
Sabrina opens up the box excitedly and pulls out what’s within.
Sabrina- A black pot? Actually I don’t. Thanks.
Zelda- It’s a cauldron.
Sabrina- Wow, even better. I can um put my pens in it.
Zelda- That’s not what it’s for. Sabrina, we have something to tell you. You see there are two realms, the natural and the supernatural and it turns out the immutable laws of physics...
Hilda- (Interrupting) You're a witch.
Sabrina- What do you mean, I’m a witch?
Hilda- You're a witch.
Zelda- Now you're not alone. I’m a witch, Hilda’s a witch, your father’s a witch.
Sabrina- And I suppose my mom’s a witch too.
Hilda- I always thought so.
Zelda- Actually your mom’s mortal. You see that’s why you're here, so that we can teach you to use your magic.
Sabrina clearly doesn’t believe a word of it.
Sabrina- You know for a second there you almost made me forget about my first day at school. Thanks...
She picks up her school bag and takes her coat from the hook.
Sabrina- (Cont.) ...but now I’ve got to go and catch a bus to take me to my doom.
Zelda- Bye bye. Have fun.
Hilda- And don’t make too many hand gestures.
She leaves by the back door and Salem slips out with her and sits himself on the sunny spot on the wall. He meows and purrs as Sabrina strokes him in that special spot under his chin.
Sabrina- (To Salem) My aunts try hard, but you have to admit they’re pretty weird.
Sabrina walks off to catch her bus, Salem sits and watches her go.
Salem- (Under his breath) You have no idea.
Int. Westbridge High School hallway. The school bell rings as Sabrina wanders along hallways thronged with students, feeling completely lost and alienated. She’s looking for the biology class for her first lesson at her new school. Everyone around her either talks with their friends or moves purposely towards the various class rooms. Sabrina knows no one and it’s all strange making her feel lonely and slightly afraid. She finds what she thinks is the right class and looks in. The class hasn’t begun yet and she sees a boy through the glass of the door talking with a bud. He’s a dish and she stands for a second watching him. He turns and notices her, his face splitting into a friendly grin. Sabrina can’t help but smile back as the door opens and hits the boy in the face knocking him back. The biology teacher sticks his head out into the hallway.
Mr Pool- Summer's over. Come on in.
Int. Biology class. Sabrina sits alone at a bench as the teacher writes his name on the board.
Mr Pool- I’m Mr Pool.
He clears his throat to get the classes full attention.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) And I know you were hoping I was going to spend the day mispronouncing your names but instead lets jump straight into biology huh?
He walks over to a chart he had set up earlier.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) The frog is a cold blooded vertebrate. As we dissect this amphibian we’ll be looking for...
Sabrina glances round to find the boy she had seen earlier was sat in front of her. He was craning his neck to get another look at her.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) The kidney, the heart and my lost youth. So if you’ll each choose up a lab partner.
He waits, no one moves.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) Or I could pair you off by height.
That got them moving.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) Thank you.
The boy sat in front of Sabrina turns in his seat to her.
Harvey- Hey, you want...
Libby- (Interrupting) Harvey! I’ll be your lab partner.
The pretty brunet smiles at Harvey who turns back to Sabrina and gives her an apologetic little smile before joining Libby at her bench. Sabrina puts her head in her hand embarrassed at how much she wanted him to partner her.
Later. A dead frog lies belly up in the dissection tray.
Jenny- Lets name him Tad, Tad Pole.
Sabrina- Okay. Hey thanks for asking me to be your lab partner.
Jenny- I know what it’s like, I was the new kid last year.
Sabrina- So, can I ask you a question? Do you ever feel like you don’t fit in?
Jenny- Only all the time but I don’t want to fit in. I researched it and awkward people tend to be much more successful later in life. I look at... Libby, I see tragedy.
Mr Pool- Oh look girls, you’ve-you’ve bored your frog to death.
He picks up the scalpel and hands it to Sabrina.
Mr Pool- Well, slice and dice.
The teacher leaves.
Sabrina- Oh I hate doing this. If only there was some way I could bring these frogs back to life. I think his heart is somewhere around... here.
She points and a tiny sparkle passes unnoticed from her finger.
Tad Pole- Croak.
The frog flips over off it’s back and hops onto the bench
Sabrina- (Cont.) Tad’s alive! How’d that happen?
Jenny- Ha-ha! It’s Frankenfrog.
Tad jumps off the bench and Sabrina chases him round the floor.
Jenny- (Cont.)Hey, Mr Pool. Ours is still kicking.
Sabrina catches the runaway frog and hands him to Jenny.
Mr Pool- Oh, Mike from Cadaver Shack’s gonna hear from me.
Int. The girls bathroom. Libby, Jill and Cee Cee are touching up their hair and make up before the mirrors.
Libby- Can you believe how young the freshmen look?
Sabrina enters. They all turn round to her.
Libby- May we help you?
Sabrina- I just wanted to wash my hands. Y’know, frog juice.
Libby makes space and Sabrina washes her hands.
Libby- You know, if you stink I’m not sure it’s fair to blame the frog.
Jill and Cee Cee laugh.
Sabrina- Well at least I don’t splash on aftershave to remind me of some boy who dumped me last summer.
Libby- How’d you know that?
Sabrina wonders how she did know that.
Sabrina- I don’t know, my incredible sense of smell told me?
Libby- Huh! Yeah right.
Sabrina- Well, I’d better get going. Smell you later.
Libby- Wait! Don’t come in here again. From now on you use the freaks bathroom.
Libby and her giggling friends turn back to the mirrors, Sabrina’s already forgotten as Libby applies her lipstick. Sabrina pulls a face at their backs and copies Libby hand gestures before turning and leaving. Libby continues to apply her lipstick but suddenly loses all control of her hand. The lipstick is spread over her face as she looks on helplessly.
Int. Spellman dining room. It appears empty.
Sabrina- (OS) Hi, I’m home. Where is everyone?
She enters and Zelda and Hilda jump out of hiding.
Zelda and Hilda- (Together) Surprise!
The room is done out for a small gathering, a birthday cake has pride of place on the table and Salem is sat in a special kitty chair by the table.
Sabrina- Oh look a party, sort of. Oh look, you put Salem in a little party hat, that’s so cute.
They sit and Zelda places a large, old, leather bound book in front of Sabrina.
Zelda- Here is a present from your father.
Sabrina- An old book? A black pot? Doesn’t anyone shop at The Gap anymore?
She reads the cover.
Sabrina- (Reading) 'The Discovery of Magic' Why’d he give me this?
There’s a red silk bookmark and Sabrina uses it to open the book. The page it marks contains a picture of a bearded man in a top hat, it has the name Edward beneath it.
Sabrina- (Cont.) That’s why! This old magician looks just like my dad.
The picture turns to look at her.
And it is. Sabrina gives a little start.
Edward- (Cont.) It is your dad. Happy birthday Sabrina.
Sabrina- Wow! Hallmark has gone really high tech. Can he say anything else?
Edward- I’m not a hologram honey, I’m just in a different realm.
Sabrina- A different realm? I thought you were at the Toronto Midway Motor Lodge.
Edward- Zelda! Hilda! Didn’t you explain to her she’s a witch?
Hilda- She doesn’t believe us.
Sabrina- Not this again.
She closes the book.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Look, I know you went to a lot of trouble to set this joke up so ha-ha-ha. Now it’s over.
Hilda- No. It’s just beginning. You are A witch.
Zelda- With real magical powers and now that your sixteen you can use them. And you wanted something from The Gap.
Sabrina- So what are you saying, that I’m not who I think I am? You're not who I think you are? And my father lives in a book?
Hilda- Oh finally she gets it.
Sabrina- This is insane. I’m going to my room.
She gets up and heads for the door.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Come on Salem.
Salem- Can you wait till I’ve finished my milk?
Sabrina stops in her tracks, turns, walks back and looks down at her pet cat, then up at her aunts.
Sabrina- Did the cat just talk?
Salem- Yes, and get this stupid hat of my head.
Sabrina- Oh my God!
She runs for it.
Zelda- I think we’d better let her father handle this. Ted?
The book levitates of the table and goes after Sabrina.
Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina enters and senses a presence behind her. She slowly turns to see the book floating in mid air behind her. She screams, the book screams, or rather Edward screams inside the book, then she runs and grabs it and tosses it down on her desk and backs away.
Edward- Sabrina, open me up!
His voices is muffled by the many pages in the book.
Edward- We have to talk young lady, open me up this instant!
Sabrina- No! I don’t want to talk to a book. Oh God, I’m talking to a book.
But she does need to talk to someone. She walks over and opens the book.
Sabrina- I can’t be a witch. Witches don’t exist.
Edward- (A lot clearer) Honey, I know this is hard but you just have to accept it. You're not like other kids, you're special.
Sabrina- I don’t wanna be special, I wanna be normal.
Edward- I understand, but that ship has sailed.
Sabrina- None of this makes sense. I mean all these years I thought you were travelling with the Foreign Service.
Edward- I am. It’s just a lot more foreign than you thought.
Sabrina- And mom? Has she really been digging for fossils in Peru?
Edward- Yes she has.
Sabrina- Then I wanna go live with her.
Edward- You can’t. You see there’s a rule. If you set eyes on your mother in the next two years she’ll turn into a ball of wax.
Edward- It’s the way they discourage mortal-witch marriages.
Sabrina- So is that the reason you and mom got divorced?
Sabrina- So d’ya think maybe you could get back together?
Edward- No. That’s another ship that’s sailed. You're going to be fine. Just take some time and think about all this and if you ever need me, I’m in the index.
Int. Spellman dinning room. Salem’s into his second piece of cake, Hilda and Zelda amuse themselves with a game of draw poker.
Hilda- I call. Five aces.
Zelda- You cheat!
Hilda- Do not.
Zelda- Do too!
Hilda- Do not!
Sabrina- Okay. I’ve talked to my dad and I’ve thought about it and I guess I believe I’m a witch.
Hilda- Good, because you are.
Zelda- Okay. You know what? Let's try some magic. Sabrina, you stand right there, Hilda you stay there.
She tosses an orange to Hilda who places it on the table.
Zelda- (Cont.) Alright, let's start with the basics. Orange into apple. Now you concentrate and point. Come on, try it.
Sabrina tries it, concentrating hard on the orange as she points at it, thinking apple. At first nothing happens then suddenly the orange transforms into a... pineapple.
Zelda- Apple, pineapple. That’s very close.
Hilda- (Laughing) No it’s not.
Zelda- Let's try again.
She tosses Hilda a lemon, Hilda places it on the table beside the pineapple.
Int. Spellman dining room. Later. Pineapples, pineapples everywhere and Hilda’s making herself a drink... of fresh pineapple juice.
Sabrina- I’m not very good at this. You told me the twenty-third time was the charm.
Zelda- You’ll learn to control your magic. Or at the very least, you’ll always be able to garnish a ham steak.
Sabrina- One more try.
She runs round the table and points at Salem.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Salem into apple.
Salem- I think that’s enough for one night.
Hilda- The cat’s right, wrap it up. You’ve got school tomorrow.
Sabrina- I’m a witch and I still have to go to school?
Sabrina- Unfair. Hey, maybe I’ll turn Mr Pool into...
Hilda- (Interrupting and pointing) Now! Now! Be careful pointing your finger at people, it could be dangerous.
Sabrina- You're pointing at me.
Hilda- I have the safety on.
Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Next morning. Sabrina is asleep and levitating over her bed. The alarm clock goes off waking her. She rolls over to turn it off and realises she's three feet too high and immediately drops to the bed.
Int. Spellman kitchen. Hilda and Zelda are having pineapple for breakfast. Sabrina comes down and makes for the fridge for some OJ.
Zelda- You're going to be late.
Sabrina- So? I’m a witch. Can’t I just turn back time?
Hilda- U-uh! No, a witch can’t change time. That’s one of the rules.
Sabrina- You're kidding?
Sabrina- Gotta go!
She runs out to catch the bus.
Hilda- (Calling after) You also can’t get rid of cellulite.
Int. Westbridge High School Hallway. Sabrina walks to class as Jenny catches up with her.
Jenny- Hey, I got a joke. Knock knock.
Sabrina- Who’s there?
Sabrina- Brad who?
Jenny- Brad Pitt. Is there any other Brad worth mentioning?
They walk on together.
Int. History class. The students file out.
Mrs Hecht- Thank you for coming. Did you enjoy that pop quiz?
Sabrina and Jenny walk out into the hallway.
Jenny- I am so bad at history.
Sabrina- Me too. I mean how are we supposed to remember things that happened so long ago?
There’s a call of ‘Heads up!’ behind them and they turn just in time for a football to hit Sabrina squarely on the forehead.
Jenny- Watch it with the football! (To Sabrina) Are you okay?
Libby- Try to live in this world, not just your own.
Sabrina has the strong feeling that Libby doesn’t like her.
Int. School Cafeteria. Sabrina and Jenny are sat together eating lunch when someone clears their throat. Sabrina looks up to see that it’s the boy from Biology, What’s his name? Harvey?
Harvey- Can I sit here?
Harvey- How’s your head?
Sabrina- Um, it kinda hurts.
Harvey- Sorry, y’know I didn’t mean to hit you with the football.
Sabrina- Oh, that was you?
Harvey nods yes.
Sabrina- You have a really good arm.
Sabrina- Oh, do you know Jenny?
Harvey- You live in the house with the funny mailbox right?
Jenny- It’s not our fault. The people who lived there before us were actually named Mr and Mrs Hog.
Harvey- No, it’s cute. My mailbox is boring, it’s really just a place to put letters.
Sabrina- Mine too!
Libby walks by behind Sabrina with her tray.
Libby- Hi Harvey. I’m having a party Saturday night, you’ll be there right?
Harvey- Sure, I’m not doing anything else.
Sabrina turns to look up at Libby.
Libby- Perfect. Everyone cools coming.
She looks down deliberately at Sabrina.
Libby- (Cont.) Well that’s all.
She then tilts her tray slightly and gives the cup of soda a little nudge with her thumb knocking it over. It tips all down Sabrina’s blouse. Sabrina is stunned speechless for a moment.
Libby- (Cont.) Oh-no. Smell you later.
She turns and walks away.
Sabrina- You did that on purpose!
Libby just looks back smiling,
Libby- Prove it.
Sabrina jumps up angry
Sabrina- Don’t walk away! I mean it, I’ve not done talking with you!
She raises her finger for emphasis and the newly manifested power within her begins to bubble up, her strong emotion lending it strength. Suddenly the whole cafeteria begins to shake, a strong wind comes up from nowhere and swirls around the room, picking up trays and other loose items. Thunder crashes and lightning flashes as the unleashed magical power builds to it’s climax.
Student- TWISTER! EVERYBODY HIT THE DECK!
Students dive for cover under the tables, only Sabrina and Libby are left standing, Libby apparently frozen to the spot. Sabrina’s finger crackles with pent up energy that’s suddenly released in a stream of sparkling light. The raging storm around them subsides as quickly as it started and students begin to come out from under cover. Sabrina still stands in the centre of the mayhem.
Jenny- Where did Libby go?
Sabrina- (Shrugging) I have no idea.
Then she runs and picks up a pineapple from the floor and dashes from the cafeteria.
Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda’s reading a brochure as Hilda brings over a pineapple upside down cake to put with the three that are already there.
Zelda- There’s a lecture at MIT on the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. (Reading) 'It’s either at eight or at ten.'
Sabrina comes in upset and carrying a pineapple.
Sabrina- I hate being a witch! I’ve just turned the most popular girl in school into a pineapple.
Sabrina- Because it’s the only thing you taught me how to do.
Hilda- Chill, I can fix this.
She takes the pineapple from Sabrina and takes it over to the chopping board. Then picking up the knife.
Hilda- (Cont.) Chunks or rings?
Zelda- Hilda! There are other ways.
Zelda- Sabrina doesn’t know how to seal her spells yet, so...
Hilda puts down the knife and stands back.
Zelda- (Cont.) The popular girl is not a fruit.
As the brief incantation is completed the pineapple on the chopping board morphs back into Libby who sits up looking around, confused.
Zelda- (Cont.) There, all better.
Libby- What am I doing in your house?
Sabrina- You came over for a visit.
Libby- I would not. You did something to me, you sent me somewhere. It was small and it smelled like Hawaii.
Sabrina- Look Libby, I’m sorry I didn’t...
Libby- (Interrupting) Oh not as sorry as you will be. You're an even bigger freak than I thought and the whole school's going to know about it.
She turns and leaves.
Hilda- See? My way, she’d be on a tooth-pick.
Sabrina- It’s over! My life is over! I mean it’s not just over, it’s over, over!
Zelda- Oh stop, Libby can’t hurt you. She’s just one person with a crazy story.
Sabrina- She’s a cheerleader, nobody has more credibility. I mean the only way to make this better is to turn back time and you said a witch can’t do that.
Zelda- A witch can’t but collectively we do have powers that a single witch doesn’t. It’s a union thing.
Sabrina- So it’s possible?
Zelda- You can appeal to the Witches Council but they only grant time reversal in extreme cases.
Hilda- Like for two months a bunny ruled all of England.
Sabrina- Well how do I get to this Witches Council?
Zelda- It’s ten million light-years away,
Sabrina’s hopeful expression fades.
Zelda- (Cont.) But there’s a short cut through our linen closet.
Int. Spellman upstairs landing. Sabrina comes up the stairs with her aunts.
Zelda- Now the head of the council is named Drell. He’s a mean, pigheaded, power mad despot.
Hilda- We used to date. I haven’t seen him in centuries.
Zelda- Not since he left her at the alter. Daddy lost a huge deposit on the Parthenon.
Hilda- Would you let that go? It’s ancient history.
Zelda- I knew the trouble you were getting...
Hilda- I didn’t even want that big wedding with the long...
Sabrina- (Interrupting) Excuse me! I’m trying to turn back time here. Can we go?
Sabrina opens the linen closet door.
Hilda- Oh-no! I couldn’t. I swore I would never talk to Drell again as long as he lived.
Zelda- Besides, the Council will respect you more if you go alone. Now make a left at the towels and follow the signs.
Sabrina sets off into the closet.
Hilda- And watch out for Drell.
Zelda- (Calling after) And whatever you do, don’t stare at his mole!
Zelda closes the closet door. There’s a crash of thunder from within and lightning shows round the edge of the door.
Ext. The Other Realm. The Witches Council sits on a cloud surrounded by clouds. Which makes the doorway that Sabrina stumbles through look somewhat out of place along with the wide oak table and the three witches seated there. The first is a woman of indeterminate age with blond hair, wearing high collared formal robes. Beside her is a huge man with long, curly, black hair. He’s also wearing robes and spectacles and holds a small furry rodent in his hand. At the far end is a small fair haired man in a suit and bowler hat, with friendly eyes. Sabrina steps up to the table.
Sabrina- Sorry, is this the Witches Council?
Cassandra- Yes. I don’t believe you have an appointment.
Cassandra checks the appointment book but the candle whose light she’s reading by begins to wilt and whine.
Cassandra- Drell, did you remember to feed the candle?
The huge man in the middle puts a piece of paper to the candle flame and it eats hungrily.
Drell- There, happy?
Sabrina- Er, I know I don’t have an appointment but I um I brought a wash cloth.
Skippy, the little man on the end stands and snaps his fingers indicating Sabrina should hand the cloth to him. He takes it and eats it hungrily.
Drell- Okay, state your name, age and request, we’ll see if we can fit you in.
Sabrina- I’m Sabrina, I’m sixteen and I’d like to turn back time.
Skippy and Drell laugh,
Drell- Well we fit you in. Next order of business...
He looks Sabrina up and down and begins to glare threateningly.
Drell- Are you staring at my Mole?
Sabrina- No! I just didn’t get a chance to explain why I wanted to turn back time.
Cassandra- Lets humour her.
Drell- Okay. Speak! But quickly.
Sabrina- Okay, where do I start? Y’know from the moment I started my new school I didn’t fit in. I wore the wrong shoes which may seem like nothing but kids can be so judgmental...
Cassandra listens patiently, Skippy nods understandingly, Drell plays with his Mole and becomes bored.
Drell- I said quickly!
He makes a motion with his finger.
Sabrina- andbythetimeIgottotheCafeteria, Libbyspilledgrapesodaalloverme. Iwasalreadyabittence. ThenIturnedherintoapineapple, Imeanitwasn’tmyfault. Youdon’tknowthisgirlandshe’snotawitch, butshehasthepowertoturnthewholeschoolagainstme.
Drell gestures again, removing the speed up spell.
Sabrina- (Cont.) And frankly it’s hard enough knowing you really are a freak without everyone else knowing it too.
Drell- (To his Mole) Oh the problems of teenagers are so interesting. (To Sabrina) Well we’ll review your case and then we’ll get back to you.
Sabrina- But I need to know.
Drell- And you will! Now go, and don’t let the time-space continuum hit you on the way out.
Skippy gives her a smile and a wave as she leaves.
Drell- (To his Mole) You love me don’t you, huh Moley?
Int. Sabrina’s bedroom that night. By the light of her lava lamp Sabrina lies on her bed and talks to her pet cat.
Sabrina- Salem, d’ya think the Council will grant the time reversal?
Salem- I’m the wrong witch to ask, they weren’t very lenient with me. Sentenced to a hundred years as a cat, and for what?
Sabrina- I don’t know, for what?
Salem- Oh like any young kid I dreamed of world domination, course they really crack down when you act upon it.
Sabrina- Wow! No wonder you're so possessive of the sofa.
Salem- Hmm. It would have been glorious. Me, as the firm but just Emperor of Earth. Trust me, being a house pet wasn’t even plan ‘B’
Sabrina- Come on, it’s not that bad. You take five thousand naps a day.
Salem- I can’t go dancing, I can’t play squash. The sound of the can-opener is the only thing that makes me feel truly alive.
Sabrina- Salem, would you like your rubber mouse?
Int. Spellman kitchen. Morning. It’s pineapple for breakfast again and Sabrina and Zelda are already into it when Hilda comes down.
Hilda- Any word from the Witches Council?
Sabrina- Not yet and if I’m going to school I have to leave any second.
The toaster pops, but rather than the smell of golden toasted bread there’s a slight aroma of singed card.
Zelda- That’s it.
Sabrina- That’s it?
Sabrina reaches for the card.
Zelda- Careful, don’t burn your fingers.
Sabrina- Please! Please! Please! Please!
she opens up the card. It’s blank, but it lets out a disembodied voice.
Drell- Request denied! Ha-ha-ha.
Zelda- I’m sorry honey.
Sabrina- It’s okay. So, where are we moving? I hear Greenland’s a groove.
Hilda- Get your books, you're going to be late.
Sabrina- You don’t understand. aunt Hilda, I’m not going to school.
Hilda- Oh yes you are. You can do this. You can’t go through life being afraid of things. Toughen up.
Sabrina- But everyone’ll laugh at me.
Hilda- Toughen up.
Sabrina- So that’s my choice? Toughen up or toughen up? Aunt Zelda, will you help me?
Zelda- Oh you know I hate to say it but aunt Hilda’s right. I mean who cares what the other kids say?
Sabrina- Actually Libby thought I was a freak even before this happened.
Hilda and Zelda- (Together) See?
Hilda hands Sabrina her bag.
Sabrina- Fine, I surrender. I guess every school needs a weird kid, it might as well be me.
Sabrina grabs her coat and leaves.
Hilda- (Calling after) I was the weird kid!
Zelda- They don’t tar and feather anymore do they? I hated that.
Hilda- You know who’s fault this is? That jerk Drell’s
Zelda- Just a thought but I bet you could convince him to change his mind.
Hilda- Me! I don’t think so. Besides, Sabrina’s going to be fine. Yes, she’ll be ostracised and reviled but she’ll get over it. The wounds will heal, the scars will fade... You know I can’t face Drell!
Zelda- Toughen up!
Int. Spellman upstairs landing. Hilda comes up the stairs with determination.
Hilda- It’s payback time Drell. I’m coming in.
She storms into the linen closet causing a storm as the secret passage to the Other realm activates.
Drell- (OS) Hilda! What are you doing here? Oh, get your hands off my Mole!
Int. Westbridge High School Hallway. Sabrina walks dejectedly along as Jenny rushes up behind her.
Jenny- Hey, I’ve got a joke. Knock knock.
Sabrina- Who’s there?
Sabrina- Brad Pitt? You told me that joke yesterday.
Jenny- No I didn’t, I just heard it on the bus.
Sabrina stops, Jenny walks on. A smile begins to grow across Sabrina’s face as she realises what this means.
She runs to catch her friend.
Int. History Class, The students are filing out.
Mrs Hecht - Excellent work Sabrina.
Sabrina and Jenny move out into the hallway.
Jenny- I cannot believe you aced the pop quiz!
Sabrina- Well what can I say, I just love History.
There’s a call of ‘Heads up’ from behind them and Sabrina turns to catch the football. There’s general applause and shouts of ‘Nice catch!’ Sabrina throws the ball down in front of Libby as she passes.
Int. School Cafeteria. Sabrina and Jenny are sat eating lunch. Someone clears their throat and Sabrina looks up knowing who it is.
Harvey- Can I sit here?
Harvey- That was a great catch.
Sabrina- I was in the zone. D’you know Jenny?
Harvey- You live in the house with the funny mailbox right?
Sabrina- You know, before we get into that. If you're not doing anything Saturday night would you like to come and see a movie with Jenny and me?
Harvey- Well sure, that sounds like fun. Cool.
Libby walks up behind Sabrina with her tray.
Sabrina- So you were saying about mailboxes?
Libby- Hi Harvey. I’m having a party Saturday night, you’ll be there right?
Harvey- Sorry, I just made plans.
Sabrina- (To Libby) Oh, bubble burst, and I bet you wanted everyone cool to come.
Libby smiles and tilts her tray slightly giving the cup of soda a slight nudge with her thumb. As the cup tips towards Sabrina, the little witch uses a little of her newfound powers to make the tilted cup do a little pirouette and spray's it’s contents over Libby. Libby flees the cafeteria in dismay as Sabrina and her new friends laugh happily.
Int. Spellman Kitchen. Sabrina’s home from school and looking a whole lot happier than when she left.
Sabrina- I love being a witch! I don’t know what made the Council change their minds but I got to do the whole day over again. And now the teachers think I’m smart, the jocks think I’m cool. Oh and I’m going to the movies with Harvey and Jenny Saturday night. Woo-hoo! I’m normal! Gotta go tell the cat.
Sabrina runs off up stairs. Zelda and Hilda watch bemused for a second before Hilda shakes her head.
Zelda- What about them?
Hilda- Just in general.
Int. Sabrina’s Bedroom. Sabrina bursts in excited and happy and picks up her black cat from the desk.
Sabrina- Salem, I don’t play squash but how about a dance?
Salem meows and purrs as Sabrina dances around the bedroom with him.
Int. Sabrina’s bedroom later. Sabrina sits on her bed with the magic book open drinking a glass of milk as Salem outlines his world domination strategy.
Salem- And once I controlled Eurasia I was going to advance on...
Sabrina- (Interrupting) Oh Salem, can you hold that thought. I’ll be right back, I’ve gotta get some more milk.
Salem- Stay where you are. You're a witch, look under the M’s
Sabrina flips through the magic book till she finds the right page.
Sabrina- Wow! Magic milk.
She points at her glass and it refills itself.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Cool, It worked. Hey, I could get used to this magic.
She takes a drink of her magic milk.
Salem- Hey, share.
Alternative Ending (Shown in later re-runs in the US)
Kindly supplied by Donald Lancon Jr.
Int. Spellman dinning room. Salem sits on the dining room table, head lowered
Salem- People of Earth...
He slowly raises his head
Salem- I am your lord and master. I urge you to _worship_ me. Do not attempt to resist. You can feel your wills _weakening_... Yes... yes... yeeess...
OS the sound of can opener; Salem cocks his head to listen.
Salem- Can opener! Gotta go!
fade to black
Salem- Please be tuna, please be tuna, please be tuna! (purring) Oh, yeeeaaahhhh!