Sabrina, The Teenage Witch
Written By - Rachel Lipman
Transcribed By - Paul Booth
Sabrina - Melissa Joan Hart
Hilda - Caroline Rhea
Zelda - Beth Broderick
Salem - Nick Bakay
Harvey - Nate Richert
Jenny - Michelle Beaudoin
Libby - Jenna Liegh Green
Chad - Brian Austin Green
Simon - Tom Wilson
Darryl - Eddie Cibrian
Sasha - Nicole Bilderback
Raphael - Darin Singleton
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in this transcript, nor do I own any rights to the television show Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. It was created by Nell Scovell and belongs to her, Viacom Productions Inc, Hartbreak Films, and the ABC Television network. The characters are based on the original characters appearing in Archie Comics.
The opening sequence of this episode is missing from the tape I’m using. It will be added at a later date.
Int. Westbridge High School Cafeteria. Libby and Sasha are busy with preparations for the school Harvest Moon Dance. They’re putting up bunting and balloons over the banner when Sasha looks out across the cafeteria were students are enjoying lunch.
Sasha- I just don’t get how people can dance with all these tables here?
Libby- Sasha, we’ll move the tables.
One of the students enjoying lunch is Sabrina and she is joined by Jenny.
Jenny- It looks like I’m going to the dance.
Sabrina- Who with?!
Jenny- Me! Dates are just societies way of keeping numbers even, I’m going to represent all things that are odd.
Sabrina- And I’m sure that’s exactly how people will see it.
Jenny- Do you wanna come with me? We could go alone together.
Sabrina- No thanks. You know I was thinking it might be kinda fun to go with Harvey.
Jenny- Are you gonna ask him?
Sabrina- Oh I can’t, I don’t wanna complicate our friendship.
Jenny- What if he asked you?
Sabrina- Oh, I don’t mind if he complicates our friendship.
Jenny suddenly stands up and waves having seen the subject of their conversation enter with his lunch tray.
Jenny- Hey Harvey, over here.
He comes over.
Harvey- Thanks for waving, I might not have spotted you at the same table were we always sit.
Jenny- So, do you have plans for the dance tomorrow night? Oops, gotta run!
She grabs her tray and leaves quickly.
Harvey- (To Sabrina) Man, I’ve never seen her move so fast.
Sabrina- Er, so you were saying about the dance?
Harvey- Oh I probably won’t go, school dances aren’t my thing. What about you?
Sabrina- Oh I haven’t made any plans. Y’know, yet.
Libby walks past with an inflated balloon.
Libby- Hi Harvey, can I borrow a finger?
He lends his finger while she ties off the balloon.
Sabrina- Excuse me, we were talking. Other people have fingers too you know.
Libby- Yes but Harvey works out and by the way Harvey, I was thinking you and I could go to the dance together. Okay?
Sabrina stares across in disbelief.
Libby- Great. Thanks for helping.
She walks off with a smug look across at Sabrina.
Sabrina- (To Harvey) Okay? I thought you said school dances weren’t your thing?
Harvey- They’re not, I panicked. I have a hard time saying no. I really should work on that. No.
Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina looks through her magic book, Zelda comes up the stairs with laundry
Sabrina- Aunt Zelda, I need help.
Zelda puts down the washing and enters.
Zelda- Of course, what is it?
Sabrina- Well it’s kinda private.
Hilda’s head appears round the door.
Hilda- Did someone say private?
Hilda- I’m intrigued, continue.
Sabrina- Okay I’ll tell you my problem if you promise to keep it a secret. Well I wanted to go to the dance tonight with this guy.
Sabrina- Right. But he’s going with this other girl.
Sabrina- Okay and then what happens?
Zelda- Oh sweety, if Harvey likes Libby that’s his choice.
Sabrina- No but I don’t think he does. I mean she asked him and because he has a problem saying no, he said yes.
Hilda- Then why didn’t you ask him?
Sabrina- Because then he would know that I liked him.
Hilda- But you do.
Sabrina- Yes but I can’t tell him that.
Zelda- Have you at least dropped a hint?
Sabrina- Well I smile at him a lot and sometimes when we play foosball I let him win.
Zelda- He’ll never figure it out that way. Sixteen year old boys are oblivious, if you like Harvey, you’ll have to tell him.
Hilda- You may even want to use one of these.
She points at Sabrina and she’s left holding a long handled sledgehammer.
Sabrina- A sledgehammer?
Both aunts nod.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Look, I think I’d rather just use a love spell but I can’t seem to find one in my magic book.
Zelda- Oh Sabrina, I hate to disappoint you but there is no love spell. Love is far too precious to tamper with.
Hilda- You mean too weird, that’s why there’s no standardised formula although Calvin Kline came remarkably close with ‘Obsession’
Sabrina- So being a witch doesn’t help me at all?
Zelda- Well in this case, no.
Hilda- Not necessarily. You can’t make someone love you but you can imprison them in a ring for not loving you. See?
She hold out her hand and Sabrina sees that the ring on her third finger that always seems to catch the light so oddly contains a tiny young man in renaissance garb.
Raphael- Hilda, let me out. Thou art starting to grow on me.
Hilda holds her ring up.
Hilda- I love the way he catches the light.
Sabrina- Look, trapping Harvey in amber is not exactly what I had in mind. I think I need to be alone again.
She slumps down in her comfy old armchair for a good sulk and maybe a little weep.
Hilda- Oh, that privacy thing?
Zelda- Hilda, lets go. (To Sabrina) We’ll be down stairs if you need us.
Hilda- That’s right. We’re here, we care and we have pie.
They leave closing the door behind them.
Int. Spellman upstairs landing.
Hilda- That stinks.
Zelda- Harvey or no Harvey, she should go to the ball... I mean dance.
Hilda- Sabrina needs someone who’s hip and fun, who’ll make her forget Harvey.
Zelda- I know, do we have any Man Dough in the house?
Hilda- Great idea. I’ll race you to the kitchen.
They both make a dash for the stairs, Hilda barges her way in front.
Int. Spellman Kitchen. Salem is lying on the table as Hilda runs down the stairs ahead of Zelda.
Hilda- Beat you!
She raises her hands to accept the accolade of her imaginary supporters.
Zelda- Oh, you are so immature.
Salem- Do you mind? I was busy staring into space.
Hilda- You can do that later. We are making Sabrina a dream date.
She picks up Salem from the table and starts to dance around with him.
Salem- Oh, ooh, ooh, my kipple!
While Zelda goes to the magic cabinet for the ingredients. A Mexican style instrumental kicks off and plays through the following.
Hilda is still dancing but instead of Salem she has a head made of dough in her hands.
Hilda- Dream date.
Zelda pats dough into shape on the counter and Hilda places the head at the head of the table and pats it.
Zelda- Got your nose!
She holds up a carefully shaped dough nose. Hilda fits it on the head a little off centre.
Zelda- Here’s your ears.
She throws them both across, Hilda catches them one in each hand.
Zelda has two outsized dough feet and walks them down the table. They both fit the dough parts together.
They each make a dough hand and slap them together in a high five before fitting them into the rest of the dough body that coming together on the table.
A few finishing touches and the constructions complete.
They are both covered in flour and stand admiring their work as the music fades.
Zelda- (Cont.) Wait, one arm is shorter than the other. Hilda, have you been eating dough?
Hilda- (With her mouth full) No.
But the jobs only half done.
Zelda- Now for the personality glaze.
Hilda joins her at the counter where a bowl is set up with various bottles and jars around it.
Hilda- Pour it on. Lets make him a great dancer.
She pours a few drops from one of the bottles into the bowl.
Zelda- And a dare devil.
She pours from another bottle.
Hilda- And a musician.
Another bottle contents enters the bowl.
Zelda- Do girls still like musicians?
Hilda- Ever since Mozart’s ‘Feel the Heat’ tour.
The question distracts Hilda as she pours from a bottle and she practically empties it.
Hilda- Oh! I over did the enthusiasm.
Zelda- He’s going to a high school dance, he’s going to need all the enthusiasm he can get.
She carries the bowl over to the table and they both start brushing the glaze over the dough body. Then it’s covered with a table cloth and the timer is set. The two pastry chefs are tidying up the kitchen when Sabrina comes down the stairs.
Sabrina- What are you cooking? Something smells..... handsome?
Zelda- Sabrina your going to love it. We’re making you a dream date out of Man Dough.
Sabrina- Man Dough?
Hilda- He’ll be tall, dark and yeasty.
Zelda- Now he lasts about four hours, which is perfect for your dance.
Sabrina- Yeah perfect, except for the fact that I wanted to go with Harvey, not Pop’n’fresh.
Zelda- Oh come on, just meet him before you make up your mind.
Hilda- Your going to like him; he’s really enthusiastic.
Sabrina- I’ve already made up my mind, I’m not going.
Suddenly the table cloth starts to rise taking on a man shape that the rolled out dough didn’t posses. Hilda and Zelda smile at each other excited. Sabrina couldn’t care less. The timer pings and the two aunts lean over the table.
Hilda and Zelda- (Together) Man’s done!
The dough man sits up throwing the table cloth off and taking a big breath. He looks around and down at himself.
Dough Man- Hey. Hi, man am I happy to be here.
Sabrina looks him over and is pleased with what she sees. The Pillsbury dough boy he isn’t but darkly good looking with his neat close cropped hair and black leather jacket and denims.
Sabrina- Wow! He is really cute.
Zelda- Well, we do nice work but if you don’t wanna go to the dance...
Sabrina- (Interrupting) Changed my mind, I’ll go. Just er, give me a sec to get ready.
She points at herself and in seconds her tatty jeans and sweater transform into a short purple dress and her pulled back hair is hanging free and curled under.
Sabrina- (Cont.) All set. Gotta go.
She takes the dough man by the hand and heads out the back door.
Dough Man- Man, you look great and this dance sounds fantastic.
Int. Westbridge High School Harvest Moon Dance. The converted cafeteria is filling up nicely as Sabrina and her date enter.
Dough Man- Oh man, this place is fantastic. What do you call it?
Sabrina- The cafeteria.
Dough Man- The cafeteria, the cafeteria; I’ll have to remember that. Whoa, great bunting!
Sabrina- Hey, could you keep it down? Your talking kinda loud.
Jenny spots Sabrina and comes over.
Dough Man- Hi.
He grabs Jenny’s hand and shakes it enthusiastically.
Dough Man- (Cont.) Who are you?
Jenny- I’m Jenny. Who are you?
He has no answer for that and turns to Sabrina.
Sabrina- This is er, Chad.. Cory.. Dillan.
Jenny- Great name.
Sabrina- Thanks. Er Chad, could you get us some punch?
Chad- She has the best ideas.
He enthusiastically dashes off to get the punch. As soon as he’s gone she pulls Jenny close.
Sabrina- So, what do you think?
Jenny- He’s cute. Where did you meet him?
Sabrina- Oh my aunts introduced us. We rode over on his motorcycle.
Jenny’s mouth drops open with wonder.
Jenny- I approve.
Sabrina- Yeah Chad’s pretty neat, you know for an athlete, dare-devil, rock musician.
Chad arrives back with the punch.
Chad- Guess what? They had two flavours; orange and red.
Sabrina takes the red and Chad swallows the orange in one enthusiastic gulp.
Sabrina- Go easy Chad.
Jenny- Well, I’m going to dance.
She leaves for the dance floor.
Chad- (To Sabrina) Wait a second. We can dance here?
Sabrina- Yeah, do you like dancing?
Chad- I’m made to dance and I love this song.
He takes Sabrina’s hardly touched punch from her hand and gives it to a passing boy.
Chad- Here, excuse me. Thank you, thank you. Thanks a lot.
The boy wonders on bemused as Chad drags Sabrina onto the dance floor and they get on down and boogie. Libby and her date arrive a little late.
Libby- Sasha, what have I missed?
Sasha- Not much. Where have you been?
Harvey- We had some engine trouble with the Vette on the way over.
Sasha- You drive a Corvette?
Libby- that’s Shove-ette.
Harvey- Hey! Same manufacturer.
Libby- Oh please!
She looks out over the dance floor and spots Sabrina dancing with a dark, handsome stranger.
Libby- Who’s that guy Sabrina’s with?
Jenny overhears and is happy to fill Libby in as she knows how much Libby will hate it.
Jenny- His names Chad Cory Dillan and yes, that’s his motorcycle outside.
She dances away laughing.
Sasha- Well I guess Sabrina wins.
Libby- I don’t think so. Come on Harvey, let’s hit the floor.
Libby’s on her way when Harvey grabs her arm and draws her back.
Harvey- Actually Libby, I don’t dance.
Libby- Excuse me? This is a dance, guess what we do here?
Harvey- Well you see for me, dance is sort of a metaphor.
Libby- For what?
Harvey- I don’t know, something else?
She gets right in his face and he backs away.
Libby- I can’t believe you did this to me.
She continues to advance and Harvey continues to back off until the back of his knees hits a chair and he sits down. Libby spins away.
Libby- (Cont.) Sasha! Ladies room.
Meanwhile Chad Cory Dillan dances enthusiastically and skilfully with Sabrina.
Chad- Oh man, I’m having a great time.
Sabrina- Me too.
But her smile fades when they move around and she sees Harvey sat by the wall watching her forlornly. He stands and gives her a little wave. She stops dancing and returns his wave.
Chad- What, why’ve you stopped dancing?
Sabrina- I just saw someone.
Sabrina- Just a friend.
Int. Spellman kitchen. Hilda and Zelda sit by the counter reading and waiting. Having built a dream date for Sabrina they have got themselves in the mood. so they’ve built two more for themselves.
Hilda- This is fun. We haven’t done this since the Taft administration.
Zelda- Mm. What did you put in your personality?
Hilda- I gave him lots of optimism. I want my dream date to be hopeful.
Zelda- Oh that’s nice.
A timer pings.
Hilda- Oo! Mine’s done.
A dough man sits up. A brawny man in a sweater and slack, an ex jock type gone to seed.
Hilda- (Cont.) Hi. I’m Hilda
Simon- Would you get off my back? I’ve been looking for work, stop riding me.
Zelda- That doesn’t sound too hopeful.
Hilda- Something must have gone wrong.
Zelda- Did you check the expiration date on the optimism?
Hilda gets the bottle.
Hilda- Oh no. It says ‘hope fades’
Zelda- Which means...
Hilda- My dream date is hopeless.
Simon climbs off the table.
Simon- Ladies, d’you wanna break up the hen party. Somewhere men are competing in a professional sport and I’m missing it. So where’s the TV? Never mind, I’ll find it myself.
He goes off in search of the TV and glances up the stairs.
Simon- (Cont.)TV? TV? No.
He disappears into the living room.
Hilda- I have the worst luck with men, even the ones made out of dough.
Zelda Picks up the rolling pin and hands it to Hilda.
Zelda- Here. Do you want to start over?
Hilda- Yes.. No, wait. I have an idea. Maybe I can change him.
Zelda- Oh Hilda you know that never works.
Hilda- But I love a challenge. First I’ll gain his trust by pretending to be interested in sports.
She turns towards the living room.
Zelda- Wait. Don’t you wanna see who my dream date is?
Hilda- Let me guess. He’s a brave, milk swilling fireman?
Zelda- How did you know?
Hilda- I found the calendar in your desk. Sabrina’s right, there’s no privacy in this home.
With that she spins round and heads off to sort out her own dream date. Zelda sits herself on the edge of the table and waits for hers to be done. He sits up suddenly dressed in his fire fighting gear and looking very handsome.
Darryl- (To Zelda) Ah, hello Kitten. Got milk?
Salem’s head pops out of the basket where a second ago he had been dreaming a romantic tuna dinner for two with Siamese down the road.
Salem- What? Oh sorry, thought you were talking to me.
He slips back inside the basket and tries to recapture his dream.
Int. Westbridge High School Harvest Moon Dance. Chad Cory Dillan’s enthusiasm is still strong as they continue to dance.
Chad- Oh man, this is the best night of my life.
Sabrina- Do you mind if we stop? I’m sorta tired.
Chad- Oh sure, go ahead. Although I gotta say, I love this song.
Sabrina- Oh well then keep dancing.
She looks around and see Jenny dancing on her own.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Jenny, cover for me.
Jenny- Alright. Don’t be long, I don’t want people thinking I sold out.
She leaves Chad and Jenny dancing together and goes to get a glass of punch. The fact that Harvey is at the punch bowl, fishing round with the ladle, is of course pure coincidence.
Sabrina- Hi Harvey. Are you busy?
Harvey- Er, no. I dropped the chip in the punch. You look nice.
Sabrina can’t help the smile that comes to her lips at the compliment.
Sabrina- Thanks, so do you.
Harvey- This is what I wore to school yesterday.
Sabrina- Oh well you smell okay. So where’s Libby?
Harvey- Bathroom I guess. She’s mad at me cos I don’t dance.
Sabrina- Really? I would have thought you’d be good at that.
Harvey- Well I’m okay when it’s just me rocking out in my room. I mean I don’t spin around the pole or anything but I get really self-conscious in front of other people.
Sabrina- We all do.
Harvey- Not your date.
Sabrina- Oh, Chad’s kinda special.
Harvey- Wow! You really like him, don’t you?
Sabrina- No! I meant like different.
Chad suddenly dances up beside her.
Chad- Hey, there you are. (To Harvey) Hi, I’m Chad Cory Dillan.
He shakes Harvey’s hand enthusiastically.
Harvey- Harvey Dwight Kinkle.
Chad- It’s nice to meet ya. (To Sabrina) Hey Sabrina, you’ve gotta get back here. You wouldn’t believe what you’re missing.
Sabrina- A great song?
Chad- (To Harvey) She knows everything.
He drags Sabrina back onto the dance floor as Libby and Sasha arrive.
Harvey- Oh you’re back, I thought maybe you’d fallen in.
Int. Spellman Living room. Simon sits on the settee glued to the TV. Hilda sits beside him.
Hilda- What are you thinking?
Simon- The refs a jerk!
Hilda- Y’know we could talk while we watch sports. I mean relationships are built on communication. Why don’t you share your feelings?
Simon- Why don’t you share the chips.
Hilda- Simon, the point I’m trying to make...
Simon- (Interrupting) Look, look, look, look. When we get to a boring commercial we’ll make out, until then.
He points to the TV.
Simon- (Cont.) Do you mind?
Int., Spellman kitchen. Zelda sits and watches Darryl chug a whole carton of milk.
Zelda- I’ve never seen a man drink so much milk.
Darryl- Aah! Ha, I like milk.
Int. Westbridge High School Harvest Moon Dance. Sabrina must be pooped because she’s still up dancing with Chad. Libby, however, sits it out beside Harvey.
Libby- I don’t understand why you just didn’t say ‘no’ when I asked you to this dance?
Harvey- I told you. I’m working on it.
The song finishes and another starts up.
Chad- Alright! A slow dance.
He slips his arm around Sabrina but she gets hers between them and pushes him away.
Sabrina- Er y’know Chad, I’m really not into slow dances. Um why don’t we go over and stand by those chairs?
Chad- Genius. That is genius.
They walk over to the chairs by the wall passing Jenny who is still dancing alone as couples pass round her in smoochy embraces.
Jenny- (Under her breath) Oh this is too weird even for me.
She leaves the dance floor. Libby and Harvey sit another one out.
Libby- If you don’t wanna be here just leave.
Harvey- Look I don’t tell many people this but...
Libby- (Interrupting) There he is!
She stands and puts on her friendliest and loveliest smile and walks up to Chad.
Libby- Hi I’m Libby.
Chad- Hi I’m Chad.
Libby- I saw you dancing out there; your really good.
Chad- Oh well I’m also a dare-devil and a rock musician.
Libby- Oh really! What instrument do you play?
Chad- Well lead guitar.
Harvey who’s sat listening splutters a laugh.
Harvey- (Under his breath) Lead guitar.
Sabrina- Hey Harvey, don’t you play an instrument?
Harvey- Yeah. The bassoon.
Sabrina- Wow, the bassoon. I think that’s really sexy.
Libby- Maybe to another bassoon.
Chad- Oh man, I love this song!
Libby- Me too. Unfortunately my date can’t dance.
Sabrina- Yes he can. As a matter of fact Harvey is a wonderful dancer.
Harvey- Sabrina! Technically that’s not true.
Sabrina- Yes it is and why don’t you prove it to them. Now.
She folds her arms and in the process casts a little spell on Harvey that strips away his inhibitions. Harvey looks down, does a neat pirouette, flips up on his toes and back. He smiles and takes off his sleeveless sweater.
Harvey- Okay, maybe I know a few steps.
He tosses the sweater to Libby and with a reverse kicking step moves onto the dance floor. The other dancers move back forming a circle around him and giving him room. He dips down, coming up into another spin, this time with one leg extended.
Jenny- Yeah! Harvey’s dancing alone. Alright!
He stops his spin and leaps high with a splits kick touch both toes before landing.
Sabrina- He’s actually better than Chad.
Chad- Much better.
Harvey bends forward at the waist and does a series of rolling jumps round the dance floor. Then twists and goes up on his toes, he takes a running leap, lands and kicks one leg up before going back up on his toes with the final beat of the song. Everyone applauds as Harvey slowly looks around the circle. The magic ebbs away leaving him feeling acutely embarrassed. He walks with his head lowered over to Libby and Sabrina.
Harvey- Did anyone see that?
Libby- Everyone saw it.
Harvey- Now I feel really self-conscious.
Chad- (To Sabrina) Let’s dance. I feel inspired.
He drags her off onto the dance floor despite her protest.
Harvey- I’d better go.
Libby-What! I wanna dance with you now.
Harvey- Sorry Libby but you said I could leave if I wanted to.
Libby- Well I take it back. You have to dance with me.
Harvey- Libby....... No!
He turns and strides purposefully towards the door leaving Libby standing stunned and annoyed. Sabrina sees Harvey go from the dance floor.
Sabrina- (To Chad) Look Chad, this doesn’t feel right, I’m sorry. Excuse me, I gotta go.
She leaves Chad standing alone on the dance floor.
Int. School hallway. Sabrina walks through.
He’s nowhere in site.
Ext. School entrance. Sabrina pushes the door open and comes out.
Harvey- I’m over here.
She turns having walked past where he sits on a bench.
Sabrina- I thought you were leaving?
Harvey- Yeah well I wanted to but know I have to wait for triple A.
Sabrina- Well, I can help you wait. I’m good at that, watch.
She walks over and sits on the bench beside him.
Harvey- Thanks but shouldn’t you be inside with what’s his name, what’s his name, what’s his name?
Sabrina- Nah, he’s nor really my type.
Harvey- What, perfect isn’t your type?
Sabrina- Actually Harvey, I wanted to talk to you about that.
She stands up and moves away to gather her thoughts.
Sabrina- (Cont.) But it’s kinda hard for me.
Harvey- What do you mean?
Sabrina- Well the thing is... I... see...
Harvey- Sabrina, what is it?
He moves over towards her and she spins round pointing.
Time freezes leaving Harvey perched on one foot. Everything stops except Sabrina.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Look, the thing is I came to this party expecting to have a good time with Chad but one look at you and it was over. I mean I think it’s great that we’re friends but sometimes I wish it were more. I like you Harvey. I like you a lot but I guess for now this is the closest I can get to saying it to your face.
She looks into his still, unmoving eyes.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Thanks for listening.
She points and Harvey along with the rest of the universe starts to move again.
Harvey- Did you just say something?
Sabrina- Yeah. I err I said Chad isn’t really perfect. You know one arms longer than the other. Well I’d better get back.
She heads for the school doors.
Harvey- Sabrina, I er I was wondering since we’re out here. D’ya wanna dance?
Sabrina- Won’t you feel self-conscious?
Harvey- Just us.
A slow piano number starts up as Harvey takes her in his arms. Starting with a gentle sway a little magic takes over as he takes one hand and they side step forward. He releases her hand and she drops back into him, he catches her beneath her arms and spins her off the ground. On landing they stretch apart at arms length.
Sabrina- So, do you love this song?
Harvey- It’s okay.
She smiles and spins back into him and out the other side. She spins back into his arms and he dips her, their faces only inches apart.
Harvey- I’m starting to get a little self-conscious.
Their faces move closer. She waits and preys for the kiss but.
Harvey- (Cont.) Okay, I’m there.
He lifts her up straight and the magic moment ends along with the music.
Harvey- (Cont.) Sorry that’s all I can do.
Sabrina- It was enough. I think I’m ready to go home now.
Harvey- Well hey, If your done with the dance do you wanna head over to the Slicery and play a little foosball?
Sabrina- Yeah, I love foosball! Sorry, I’ve been hanging out with Chad too long. Well, I’ll go and tell him I’m leaving.
Harvey watches her go back inside. After she’s gone.
Harvey- I like you Sabrina. Why can’t I say it to her face?
Int. The Harvest Moon Dance. Sabrina enters to find Chad sat like a wall-flower against, of all things, the wall. He jumps up enthusiastically when he sees her.
Chad- Sabrina, your back!
Sabrina- Chad we need to talk. Look, it was sweet of you to bring me to the dance but your not the one I want to be with.
Chad- Well who do you wanna be with?
Chad- That’s an excellent choice; he’s a great guy.
Sabrina- You really are a dream date Chad. So err, it’s okay if I leave?
Chad- Oh sure, no go ahead. I’ll just stay here and miss you.
Sabrina- I don’t want you to do that. Look you only have two hours left and I’m sure you love this song so err.
She looks around and finds the person having the least fun in the whole room sat across from them.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Why not ask Libby to dance?
Chad- Can I? I like Libby.
Sabrina- You like Libby?
Chad- Sorry, I guess I’m starting to go bad.
Ext. School entrance. Harvey sits on his bench waiting and looking critically at his hands. Sabrina comes out.
Sabrina- Alright, foos it or lose it.
Harvey- Hey look.
He holds out both arms side by side.
Harvey- (Cont.) Same length. Ha!
They walk off together smiling.
Int. Spellman living room. Hilda is still sat beside Simon who is still glued to the sports center.
Hilda- So if you live by the pass, you die by the pass. They kept the ball on the ground and they were able to convert in the red zone.
Simon- You know, I can’t hear Pat Samerell while your yapping.
Hilda- It’s a hardware commercial.
Simon- Shh! He’s talking about hammers.
Hilda- Okay, that’s it.
She gets up off the settee.
Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda is sat on the kitchen table with a stop-watch in her hand. Darryl’s fireman jacket is hung on the back of a chair inside out as her finishes pulling on his leggings. He thrusts his arms into the sleeves of his jacket and raises them above his head. The jacket drops down and round his shoulders when she shoves his arms forward completing his dressing.
Zelda click the stop-watch and looks at it.
Zelda- Nineteen seconds.
Hilda enters from the dinning room,
Hilda- Commin' through.
She walks over to the counter, picks up the rolling pin and smacks it into the palm of her hand.
Hilda- Be back in a jif.
She goes back into the dinning room.
Zelda- (To Darryl) So. What now?
Darryl- Well um, I could register your bike or make lasagne for fifty.
Zelda- Could you teach me the hiemlich?
Darryl- Sure but first I need a milk break to fortify my body and build healthy teeth and bones.
He goes over to the fridge to find more milk as Hilda comes back in carrying a large lump of shapeless dough.
Hilda- Yes I finally got through to Simon.
She presses the pedal-bin with her foot and dumps the dough in it. She brushes off her hands and turns to her sister.
Hilda- Well since my dream date turned out to be a dud, I guess we’ll have to share yours.
She takes Darryl’s arm as he passes having poured out a large glass of milk.
Zelda- Oh! Oh no! No I’m not sharing. He’s mine.
She grabs Darryl’s other arm.
Hilda- Be nice.
Zelda- I made him. Let go.
Hilda- I won’t.
They start to tug back and forth.
Zelda- Let go! Let go!
With them both tugging in opposite directions something has to give and it’s Darryl’s shoulder. Zelda pulls his entire arm out of his sleeve with the glass of milk still clutched in its hand.
Zelda- (Cont.) Now look what you’ve done.
Darryl- (Sob) My milk!
Hilda- He’s damaged now. Can I have him?
Int. Westbridge High School Harvest Moon Dance. Libby is having her best night ever dancing the night away with the handsome Chad.
Chad- Oh man I love this song.
Libby- You and I are so right for each other.
Libby turns as she dances. Chad suddenly looks a little pale and coughs into his hand. A cloud of flour bursts out. Still coughing he staggers off towards the exit. Libby doesn’t notice and keeps on dancing.
Int. School hallway. Chad staggers out of the dinning room and leans against the wall.
Chad- Must... find... preservatives!
He coughs again in another big cloud of flour and stumbles on.
Int. Harvest Moon Dance. Libby dances happily until she turns again to find herself doing a Jenny. Chad is nowhere to be seen.
Ext. School entrance. Libby comes out.
Libby- Chad? Chad? Chad?
She walks further and steps in something. Looking down she sees a dollop of doughy white stuff on the floor. There are more dollops littering the entrance area.
Libby- (Cont.) Euw! Oh gross!
She turns and goes back inside. The music from the dance can just be heard and a particularly large dollop of dough fleetingly takes on the shape of Chad’s mouth.
Chad- I had a really great time. Oh man I love this song!
Int. School hallway. Libby stands at the pay-phone with the receiver at her ear.
Libby- Are you a detective? Okay, I’d like to report a missing person. Chad Cory Dillan. Well he’s really tall, he’s really cute. He was last seen dancing with me, everyone was looking it was so cool. What? Well he’s only been gone twenty minutes but I thought... No I will not wait twenty-four hours. Don’t you people realise this is the love of my life? Hello? Hello? Urgh!