Sabrina, The Teenage Witch
Sweet & Sour Victory
Written By - Sam O'Neal & Neal Boushell
Transcribed By - Paul Booth
Sabrina - Melissa Joan Hart
Hilda - Caroline Rhea
Zelda - Beth Broderick
Salem - Nick Bakay
Harvey - Nate Richert
Mr Pool - Paul Feig
Tai Wai Tse - Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
Gustav - Robert Dorfman
Trophy - Vien Hong
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in this transcript, nor do I own any rights to the television show Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. It was created by Nell Scovell and belongs to her, Viacom Productions Inc, Hartbreak Films, and the ABC Television network. The characters are based on the original characters appearing in Archie Comics.
Int. Westbridge High School Gym. Sabrina and Harvey play Badmington, or at least they try. Sabrina throws up the shuttlecock and swishes the racket at it and hits it straight down onto the floor. It seems this isn't the first as many shuttlecock's litter the floor of the court or are stuck in the net.
Sabrina- Oh not again!
Harvey- You're getting better.
Sabrina- I stink
Harvey- Yeah, but you're getting better. This time just try to hit it a little higher, a little straighter and a little further.
She tosses up another shuttlecock and manages two swishes at it before it falls untouched to the ground.
Harvey- (Cont.) Or any one of those.
Sabrina- It's these stupid birdies, why won't they fly?
She tosses up another and swings at it, again missing completely but she does manage to get something over the net. Her racket flies from her hand, clears the net and catches Harvey in a spot he's never going to be able to return it from.
Sabrina covers her mouth in shock.
Sabrina- Sorry!... Do I get any points for that?
Run opening credits.
Int. Westbridge High School Science class. The biology lesson is coming to an end.
Mr Pool- To review. Bone is composed primarily of what?
No one answers.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) Come on, it's written on the board behind me.
Still no one answers.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) CALCIUM! I just told you kids five minutes ago, don't you listen?
The school bell rings and everyone jumps up and starts getting their stuff together.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) That you heard. Okay, for homework tonight read chapter fifteen and reread chapter fourteen, it's for your own good.
Sabrina passes him on her way out.
Sabrina- Mr Pool, can I say something?
Mr Pool- What is it Sabrina?
Sabrina- A bones hardness is derived mainly from calcium phosphate and calcium carbonate with small amounts of fluorides, sulphate's and chlorides.
Mr Pool- You listened to what I said, why didn't you raise your hand?
Sabrina- It's never enough for you is it?
Int. School hallway. As Sabrina comes out of the class Harvey leaps from around the corner in a flying Kung Fu type kick.
Sabrina- Your point?
Harvey- I just found out they're offering Kung Fu as a PE elective, isn't that cool?
Sabrina- What about Badmin'ton?
Harvey- Well Badmin'ton won't register these as lethal weapons.
He slashes his hands through the air in a series of chops.
Sabrina- Well you said I should register my racket?
Harvey- Well you've gotta learn to hold on to that thing.
The come round the corner in front of the trophy case.
Sabrina- But it's hard, I'm not a jock like you. I mean you probably have a ton of these.
Harvey- Eighteen is not a ton, and besides it's no big deal. Trophies are just a symbol of superiority and greatness.
Sabrina- Oh and who'd want one of those? I think next semester I'm going to take basket ball, that way I can get some reading done on the bench.
Harvey- Actually I was hoping you'd take Kung Fu with me.
Sabrina- Really? That'd be fun.
She does a back spin and thumps Harvey squarely in the chest.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Aiiiya!
Int. Spellman living room. Hilda finishes a complicated piece on the violin and stands to accept the applause, which would be fine if there was anyone there to hear her.
Hilda- I think that deserves a round of applause.
Still silence from the non-audience but Hilda's undeterred.
Hilda- (Cont.) I said!
She points the the room bursts into a rousing, standing ovation as Hilda curtsies. Roses fly all around her as the empty room calls for more. Zelda enters from the kitchen.
Zelda- Please Hilda, we're on our last vase.
Hilda- But I'm rehearsing for the biggest audition of my career, I need all the encouragement I can get.
Zelda tosses up the last three roses from the vase and lets them fall to the ground.
Zelda- There. Now take a break, you've been practising that same piece since Mozart wrote it.
Hilda- No one plays it better than Gustav Von Hagle, he's the one I have to beat.
Sabrina comes in the front door.
Sabrina- Hi aunties, I'm home.
Hilda and Zelda- (Together) Hi.
Sabrina- Wow, pretty roses and nice arrangement.
Hilda- They're from my loyal but imaginary fans.
Zelda- Did you have fun in school?
Sabrina- Yeah, Harvey asked me to take Kung Fu with him.
Zelda- Isn't that sweet.
Sabrina- I just hope I don't maim him. Will one of you sign my permission slip?
Hilda- (To Zelda) You do it, I have to protect my hands.
Int. Westbridge High School Gym. The mats are down and the Kung Fu students sit round the edge cross legged. The instructor goes through some warming up exercises and kata's with his back to them accompanied by oriental music. the students look bored.
Sabrina- (To Harvey) What are we doing?
Harvey- I think this music is supposed to psych us up but it's not exactly 'We will rock you.'
The instructor spins on to the mat facing the students in a fighting stance as the music ends.
Mr Pool- Whaaa! Good'ay students.
Sabrina- (To Harvey) Mr Pool!
Mr Pool- I am you Cee Foo and I will be teaching you PE. So if you'll all please rise to your feet.
The students stand.
Harvey- (To Sabrina) I can't believe Mr Pool knows Kung Fu.
Sabrina- I can, think about how much he was probably beat up as a kid.
Mr Pool- Now we'll begin out class with the customary bow to show respect for your er Cee Foo.
No one bothers.
Mr Pool- ( Cont.) Come on, it's tradition.
They make an half hearted gesture.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) Now we'll begin with some breathing exercises designed to help you locate your chi, and no that's not something you left in your locker. ha ha. Er no, chi is inner strength, so everybody breath in.
He holds his hand out before him vertically and draws it towards him as he inhales.
Mr Pool- (Cont) And out.
Harvey- (To Sabrina) Wow, this is easier than Badmin'ton.
Sabrina glares up at him as she breathes in and out.
Harvey- (Cont.) Not that Badmin'ton's easy.
Later. the students are sat round the mat once more.
Mr Pool- Okay, I'm going to need a er volunteer, so can I see a show of hands?
He gets his usual response.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) No one?
Sabrina- Mr Pool, I'll give ageless wisdom a shot.
Mr Pool- Thank you. Now er together we're going to demonstrate the philosaphy of the river and the rock. (To Sabrina) Which do you wanna be?
Sabrina- The rock obviously. Nothing can move a rock.
Mr Pool- Western thinking. Okay Sabrina will be the rock, I'll be the river, we'll see which one is stronger. We bow.
Sabrina and Mr Pool bow to each other.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) And go.
He steps forward hooks his leg behind Sabrina's and pushes her forehead with his finger. She loses her balance and topples over onto the mat.
Sabrina- You tripped me!
Mr Pool- The river tripped you. The river always beats the rock because the river has great inner strength.
Sabrina gets up and stands before him.
Sabrina- Oh maybe the rock has great inner strength too but just didn't have a chance to use it.
Mr Pool- Huh, the rock is slow and heavy.
Sabrina- The rivers all wet. The rock wants a rematch.
Mr Pool- The river's game.
Harvey- (To the student beside him) What are they talking about?
The student shrugs as the rock and the river square off and bow once more.
Mr Pool- We bow.
As they do Sabrina uses it to disguise the little pointing magic thing she does to herself.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) and go.
Again Mr Pool steps forward intending to trip Sabrina but this time she ducks under his arm and ends up behind him.
Mr Pool- A-ha, very smart. You...
He comes forward again with his arm extended, so she grabs it and flips him over in a somersault onto his back
The students are impressed and applaud.
Sabrina- The rock wins.
Mr Pool- And er that's the proper way to fall.
He gets back up.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) Alright, two out of three.
Sabrina- You've got it.
They bow to one another once more but this time Mr Pool uses a different tactic. He does a high kick that comes no where near Sabrina, lands and moves smoothly into a fighting stance. Sabrina responds with a short series of somersaults and cartwheels and returns the same way to face her opponent. Mr Pool gulps.
Harvey- I didn't know Sabrina could do that!
The rock and river circle looking for the opening and Mr Pool thinks he sees her weakness. He moves in with a straight fingers jab to her face, she leans aside and lets it passed. He tries a variety of punches and jabs but Sabrina's quick reflexes don't let him come near to connecting. He kicks, but again she's not were she had been and then it's Sabrina's turn. A blistering series of left and rights to the stomach drives the wind from Mr Pool and he collapses to his hands and knees. She cartwheels over him and he springs up to fight some more. She catches him hard in the shoulder, spinning him round with a roundhouse kick, he tumbles once more to the mat and Sabrina leaps high and comes down with a chopping blow to his throat that she pulls at the last second to stand victorious over him.
Mr Pool- No maz! no maz!
He high fives the student beside him as they all applaud Sabrina.
Int. Spellman Living room. The doorbell rings and Hilda goes to answer it but she has a problem. Fortunately Sabrina comes through from the kitchen carrying Salem.
Hilda- Open the door Sabrina, my hands.
Sabrina recognises the silhouette behind the glass.
Sabrina- It's Mr Pool! Duck!
She pulls Hilda down as Mr Pool puts his face to the frosted glass to look in.
Later. Mr Pool's been let in and sits with Hilda and Zelda on the settee.
Mr Pool- You see the reason I'm here is. Well today in Kung Fu, um...
Sabrina- (Interrupting) Actually I think it's better if you hear this from me. Today in Kung Fu I kicked Mr Pool's butt.
Zelda- Sabrina, you didn't!
Mr Pool- I've never seen such natural gifts, which is why I'm here. er Sabrina, are you at all interested in glory?
Sabrina- Mm I could go for some glory.
Mr Pool- There's a Kung Fu competition in Boston next week and I think you have the potential to make some waves in the river.
Zelda- Aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves? She's had one class in a public school, she can't be ready for competition.
Sabrina- But I am, I can prove it. Wanna see me flip Mr Pool again?
Mr Pool- Er no, that won't be necessary. So can she go?
Zelda- Well, it's up to her.
Mr Pool- Great. I'll just file the necessary paperwork then swing by my HMO for a quick CAT scan to make sure this ringing in my ears is no big deal.
Sabrina sees him to the door.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) Er see you tomorrow. Hopefully without all these spots.
Sabrina- See ya.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Woo-hoo! I think I've found my sport! Yes! I'm a jock!
She runs up the stairs and makes it all the way to the second step before tripping and falling flat on her face.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Pretend you didn't see that.
She carries on up the stairs at a more sedate pace.
Hilda- She seems happy.
Zelda- All a little too easy, I smell a rat.
Salem pricks up his ears.
Salem- Oow a Rat! Oh wait, I had Rat for lunch.
Int. Sabrina's bedroom. Sabrina stands in front of her full length mirror shadow Kung Fuing but somehow it doesn't look right. She points at herself creating a black Kung Fu outfit with a white sash belt.
She does a few more punches.
Sabrina- (Cont.) And deadly.
There's a knock at her door. She back flips to the door and opens it for Zelda, Hilda and Salem.
Sabrina- (Cont.) You knocked?
Zelda- Can we come in?
Sabrina- All door are open on the path to enlightenment.
Hilda- I'll take that as a yes.
She bows and lets them in, then carries on kicking and punching imaginary opponents.
Zelda- Sabrina we have a question, Mr Pool spoke of your natural gifts and we were wondering are they truely natural or supernatural?
Sabrina- You mean did I use my magic?
Hilda- Bare in mind. We're not accusing, we're just asking.
Sabrina- Well I did.
Hilda- How could you!
Zelda- What were you thinking?
Sabrina- I thought you wanted me to use my magic more?
Zelda- We do but not when you compete against mortal's, then your magic gives you an unfair advantage.
Hilda- That's why I've been practicing so hard. I wanna win first chair not because I'm a witch but because I have talent.
Sabrina- But I don't have talent in fact I stink at sports.
Zelda- Well have you tried something easy like Badmin'ton?
Sabrina glares at her.
Sabrina- Look, are you saying I can't do this?
Zelda- We're saying let you conscience be you guide.
Hilda- Use your moral compass, or you can borrow mine.
She holds out her hands and a large barometer materialises with just two readings on it. 'Right' and 'Wrong'
Hilda- Here try it.
She hands the compass to Sabrina who stands holding it. The arrow points up to 'Right' She smiles and shrugs and as she does the arrow drops to point to 'Wrong'
Sabrina- How accurate is this?
Zelda- We'll leave you alone to think about that.
They head for the door with Hilda leading, she stops and turns lifting her hands.
Hilda- Zelda, the door.
Zelda- Oh stop it. I saw you cracking walnuts earlier.
They leave Sabrina with Salem.
Sabrina- Let your conscience be your guide. I hate when they say that, now I have no idea what to do.
Salem- You should consider the pro's and con's.
Sabrina- Okay. I use my magic, I win, without it, I lose. Win, lose. Win, lose. I'm going with win!
Int. The North Eastern Regional Kung Fu Championships. A contestant uses a high flying side kick to flatten his opponent, another flips his over his shoulder. Sabrina stands behind the trophy table with Mr Pool watching and looking a little concerned.
Sabrina- Wow! Some of these guys are really big.
Mr Pool- Yeah, I wish we had trained more. Y'know beyond the breathing exercises.
Sabrina- I'll be fine Mr Pool. Don't forget, I have my inner strength.
Mr Pool- And don't forget. I have a permission slip signed by your legal guardian-n-n-ns!
He's just seen an oriental bloke doing some exercises on the mat. Sabrina looks also.
Sabrina- I know him; that's the bad guy from the movie 'Dragon Killer'
And he looks like a bad guy too. He moves like he knows precisely what every muscle and tendon in his body is doing at every second. He looks lethal.
Mr Pool- His name is Tai Wai Tse and he's a great fighter with a colossal chi.
Sabrina- Last time I saw him he was impaled on pungee sticks, he looks good. Will I be doing combat with him?
Mr Pool- Only if you win all three of your matches. So lets just focus and concentrate on your first opponent.
Sabrina- Right, focus and concentrate.
She starts doing her breathing exercises and with each breath she swings and arm up round and down, alternating with her eyes closed and speaking under her breath between breaths.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Focus and concentrate. Focus and concentrate.
He'd come up just at the wrong time and got whacked in the stomach breaking Sabrina's focus and concentration.
Sabrina- Oh Harvey you made it.
Harvey- I couldn't miss your big match. I mean it's amazing all the progress you've made in the past... two days.
Sabrina- Oh well er Mr Pool's a great teacher.
Harvey- Well listen. There's something I want to say to you that, it's something I always wish my dad would say to me before a game. It doesn't matter if you win or lose, you're still a winner to me.
A gong is struck to mark the commencement of the competition.
Sabrina- Now excuse me Harvey, I've gotta go kick some butt.
Sabrina's bout one. It's against a girl not much taller than she is. The referee stands with his hand between them as they bow. Sabrina uses her magic on herself. The Referee signals the start and Sabrina does a squatting roundhouse to take her opponents legs from under her. It's over in two seconds.
Tai Wai Tse's bout one. His is over just as quick as his opponent tries to punch him he leans aside, grabs his arm, and flips him onto his back.
Sabrina's bout two. He's a good two foot taller than Sabrina and three times as broad. He circles her with an evil grin and the lights gleam of his shaved head with a topknot hanging down his back. He winds up to knock her head off with a single hit but she uses Tai Wai Tse's trick to floor the big man.
Tai Wai Tse's bout two. is over so quick you can't even see it.
Sabrina's Bout three. She hurls her opponents bodily into the wall and she's through to the final where she has to meet Tai Wai Tse.
Later. Tai Wai Tse is admiring the championship trophy as Sabrina comes up behind him.
Sabrina- So Tiger Balm, you killed my Brother, you killed my father and now you've come for me, but you will not succeed.
Tai Wai Tse- What are you talking about?
Sabrina- That's what the guy said at the end of 'Dragon Killer' Y'know right before he tossed you on the pungee sticks?
Tai Wai Tse- Oh yeah, pungee sticks, that was fun. Are you ready to get this over with?
Sabrina- Aren't we supposed to spar verbally first?
Tai Wai Tse- Only in the movies. Now it is time for me to defeat you.
Sabrina- You can try but you will not succeed.
Tai Wai Tse back flips away from her onto the mat, grandstanding for the audience. Sabrina, not to be outdone, does a clever tumbling routine and lands sitting on Mr Pool's knee.
Sabrina- If the vendor comes by, order me an I.C.
They both come out onto the mat and stand facing each other. The referee gives the signal and they bow, with another signal they're off. Tai Wai Tse tries the squatting roundhouse but Sabrina back flips away and has to quickly duck under a jumping roundhouse, she does a barrel roll under his next attack and a half reverse one onto her shoulders before springing back to her feet. She spins and somersaults into an attack of her own kicking high then low but he's equal to them. She punches but her grabs her wrist and tries to pull her off balance but her strength his a match for his and he's nearly pulled over. She grabs his wrist with her free hand and swings him, his legs go into the air but as he lands he uses his momentum to swing her the same way. He's slightly off balance as she lands and one mighty swing sends him careering off the mat and out through the doors. Sabrina lets off the built up adrenalin in an uncontrolled scream of victory. Mr pool runs over and raises Sabrina's arm.
Mr Pool- The winner is Sabrina!
Harvey- Way to go! (To the crowd around him) I eat lunch with her!
She's quickly presented with the championship trophy.
Sabrina- Oh a trophy!
She hugs it to herself, excited..
Sabrina- I have a trophy. Is this real gold?
Int. Sabrina's bedroom. The trophy sits on her desk, made of two blue pillars with another blue pillar on top. Standing on that is a little gold man high kicking in a Kung Fu pose. Sabrina is ready for bed in her nightie sits sideways in her armchair so her face is next to the trophy and takes a polaroid of her self with her trophy.
Sabrina- It's such a great trophy Salem. Look it says first and it's got that little gold guy on top. It really is the best trophy and look.
She stands up and puts the trophy on the floor beside her.
Sabrina- (Cont.) It comes up past my knee, and you know what else occurs to me?
Salem- Is it about the trophy?
Sabrina- I just realised I can retire now because I'm not greedy. I just wanted one trophy and now I've got one.
Salem- Oh. I'm glad it all worked out, now go to sleep.
Sabrina- Okay. Trophy, trophy, trophy. I'm done.
She gets into bed and turns off the lights and just as she settles down she hears something.
She hears it again and sits up turning the light back on.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Salem, what did you say?
Salem- I didn't say anything. It came from over there.
Sabrina- Over where?
Salem- By your trophy.
Sabrina gets up and walks over to the trophy.
Sabrina- My trophy?
The little gold man on top puts down is leg and looks Sabrina squarely in the eyes.
Sabrina- My Trophy!
The little man blows a raspberry.
Sabrina- What is this about?
Trophy- You didn't deserve to win me, you used magic. You're a cheater.
Salem- Hey lay off you gold plated mantle warmer.
Trophy- Don't start with me tabby, I'll take you out with a single blow.
Salem- I'll mess you up!
Trophy- You're going down!
Sabrina- Stop it both of you. (To the trophy) Now can we discus this in the morning?
Trophy- Sure we can discuss this in the morning, but I'm not going to shut up tonight. Cheater! Cheater!
Sabrina angrily grabs the trophy and storms out of her bedroom.
Int. Spellman Kitchen. Sabrina comes down stairs in her nightie with the trophy.
Trophy- Cheater, cheater, cheater!
Sabrina- Shh! you'll wake up my aunts.
Trophy- (Whispering) They're asleep?
Trophy- (Yelling) CHEATER! CHEATER!
Sabrina- You leave me with no alternative.
She turns on the tap and sticks the little gold man under it.
Trophy- Cheater! Cheater! (Gargling) Cheater! Cheater!
Sabrina- Oh, now you're making me mad!
She starts whacking the trophy against the side of the counter.
Trophy- Aw! Aw! Aw! Aw!
The yelling and banging have woke Sabrina's aunts and they come down together.
Zelda- What's all the noise?
Hilda- Everything okay?
Sabrina- No, my trophy won't shut up.
Hilda- Well just tell it to... Huh?
Sabrina- It keeps calling me names. I don't know what's happening.
Zelda- I take it you decided to compete in Kung Fu?
Trophy- Yeah and she won. Cheater!
Zelda- That explains it. The trophy is speaking your guilty conscience.
Sabrina- You told me to decide for myself and I did.
Trophy- And you decided wrong.
Sabrina- How do I get it to stop yapping?
Hilda- Well you could put a teeny weeny sock in his mouth, or you could clear your conscience.
Sabrina- I have a better idea.
She takes the trophy over to the freezer and sticks it inside. She then turns and heads for the stairs as her aunts watch her without a word. Even without that word Sabrina feels the need to answer their unspoken question.
Sabrina- (Cont.) What? That's where I was planning to keep it.
Int. Westbridge High School. Science class. Sabrina's a little late getting in and Mr Pool spots her.
Mr Pool- Here's out champion huh!
The class applaud Sabrina to her bench
Harvey- Sabrina, I bow to you're greatness.
Sabrina- Please, don't.
Harvey- No you deserve it. Not many people could compete the way you did.
Sabrina- That's true.
Mr Pool- So, where's your trophy?
Sabrina- At home in the freezer... with er all our other valuables.
Harvey- Don't you wanna show it off in the trophy case?
Sabrina- No. It's really not that great a trophy.
Mr Pool- are you kidding, it comes up to your knee? Besides, that trophy says you're the best.
Sabrina- Well that may be what it says to you but it's not what it says to me.
Int. Audition room. Hilda puts rosin on her violin bow as Gustav enters.
Gustav- How nice to see you. What are you doing here?
Hilda- Auditioning for first chair same as you.
Gustav- No, not same as me. You never play same as me.
He opens his violin case and takes out his instrument as Hilda glares at him.
Gustav- (Cont.) Hello Stradi.
Hilda- You have a Stradivarius?
Gustav- Yes, that other job I beat you out for payed me well enough to buy it... and a case.
Hilda- Well you're not going to beat me this time.
He stands with the violin under his chin and leans against the door frame.
Gustav- Oh no? I think I vill, I think you are fine for veddings, Bah Mitzvahs...
Hilda twirls her finger and the door swings too. It's about to trap his bowing hand in the door but at the last second she stops it.
Gustav- (Cont.) Hoe-downs but being first chair requires skill, talent, me.
Hilda- You know, I've got my fans too and they think this is my year.
Gustav- Give it up. There's nothing you can do.
He bends down to take his bow from the case.
Hilda- Oh yes there is.
She points and a blacksmiths anvil blips into existence directly above his head. She hold's it there with her power.
Gustav- What, you going to cry like a little baby? boo-hoo, chose me!
Hilda struggles to hold the great weight and in the end decides not to crush his head like a mellon. The anvil vanishes.
Hilda- No I'm not going to cry. I'm going to go in there and play like I've never played before.
She takes her violin as the hopeful before her comes out and heads for the door.
Gustav- That would be a excellent idea.
She turns as he sits in a chair with his back to her. She's tempted to use magic to take him out of the running but instead just ruffles his hair before she goes in to audition.
Int. Spellman Kitchen. It may be mid-day but the sky outside is as black as night. The Westbridge weather center had forecast sunny spells with the occasional light shower, so the raging thunder storm that swept in fifteen minutes ago has the forecasters reaching for the Mogadon. Another crash of thunder shakes the town as Hilda storms in waving her hand at the sky with a face like thunder. She gets halfway across the kitchen when she lets off another blast. Lightning illuminates Westbridge.
Zelda- I take it the audition didn't go well.
Hilda- Gustav got first, I got second.
Zelda- I'm so sorry. Should I notify the weather service?
Hilda waves her hand again releasing another rolling crash of thunder and suddenly the dark clouds begin to dispers, allowing the sun to break through once more.
Hilda- (Cont.) There, now it's out of my system.
Sabrina enters from school.
Sabrina- Hi guys.
Sabrina- You'll be happy to know I'm ready to do the right thing.
Zelda- Oh Sabrina that's great.
Hilda- I did the right thing.
Sabrina- Oh yeah, your audition. How did it go?
Hilda- Yeah, I did the right thing.
Sabrina- So did you get first chair?
Hilda- No, I got second chair but I tried my hardest, and second chair is even better than first chair when you think about it over and over until words lose all meaning.
Sabrina- You can drop it aunt Hilda, I've already decided to give back the trophy.
She goes to the freezer and takes the trophy out.
Trophy- Ch-ch-ch-cheater-r-r! Ch-ch-ch-cheat-ter-r!-!
Sabrina- Okay, I was going to run you under hot water but now you get nothing.
Int. Tai Wai Tse's office. He sits at his desk opposite his own impressive trophy cabinet on the phone to his agent.
Tai Wai Tse- I'm tired of playing the ninja assassin... I know Marty, look I just want to play the Dad on a phone commercial.
There's a knock at his door.
Tai Wai Tse- Yeah, work on it. Look, I gotta go. Someone's at the door. love you, chow.
He puts the phone down and answers the door. He sees who it is and turns embarrassed.
Sabrina- Hi Tai. You er probably don't remember me.
Tai Wai Tse- Yeah like so many little blonde girls kick my butt that I can't keep them straight. You're Sabrina right?
Sabrina- Yeah. I-I came to bring you this.
She gives him the trophy.
Sabrina- (Cont) I think you should have it.
Tai Wai Tse- What? You won it; you keep it.
He gives it back.
Sabrina- You keep it. It'll be happier here. Look.
She puts the trophy in his cabinet with all the others.
Sabrina- (Cont.) See? Surrounded by his little friends okay. Gotta go.
She almost gets out the door.
Tai Wai Tse- Oh wait, wait! I can't keep this trophy, even though it comes past my knee. I haven't earned it. It'd be meaningless.
Sabrina- It's more annoying than meaningless.
Tai Wai Tse- I could only accept it if I won it honourably in a rematch.
Sabrina- You mean I'd have to fight you again? But we already did that. Okay, how about this. We play foosball?
Tai Wai Tse- There is no honour in foosball.
Int. Westbridge High School, Science class. Mr Pool sits with his feet up marking test papers.
Mr Pool- Wrong. Wrong.
Sabrina- Mr Pool, can we talk?
Mr Pool- Oh, of course my little dragon killer, killer.
Sabrina- I thought you should know I agreed to a rematch with Tai Wai Tse.
Mr Pool- That's fantastic, I'm thrilled. Although all future booking's should go through me.
Sabrina- It won't happen again. Now here's the thing. I need you to train me.
Mr Pool- Oh sure, we'll do our usual breathing exercises.
Sabrina- No, I mean really train me. Like teach me to fight.
Mr Pool- But you know how to fight.
Sabrina- I... forgot.
Ext. Westbridge Central Park. Mr Pool takes Sabrina through basic kata's, smooth, flowing movements like a dance. They bow and fight, High kicks, roundhouses and punches.
Mr pool holds the block of wood and Sabrina tries to break it, unsuccessfully.
More training follows on the streets and there's another failed attempt to smash the piece of wood resulting in a bruised hand.
Mr Pool wears padded gloves, Sabrina punches his hands and the training continues until the piece of wood shatters. Sabrina has found her chi.
Int. The North Eastern Regional Kung Fu Championship Rematch. The gong is struck and Sabrina nervously paces.
Sabrina- I lost my chi! Where's my chi? Have you seen it?
Mr Pool- Sabrina look, it's right there inside you. Now you've got the stuff. I don't know what made you lose your confidence but I suggest you get it back really soon.
Sabrina- Okay you're right. I just need to focus and concentrate.
She starts her breathing exercises doing blocks between each breath.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Focus and concentrate. Focus and concentrate.
He got whacked in the stomach again and gaspes for breath.
Sabrina- Oh! Sorry.
Harvey- Good luck.
He goes to find a seat as Tai Wai Tse enters in an all white outfit and stares menacingly at Sabrina.
Sabrina- (To Mr Pool) There's Tai Wai Tse. Does he look flabbier to you?
Mr Pool- Not really.
The gong is struck again and its time to fight.
Mr Pool- (Cont.) Go get him Sabrina.
She moves onto the mat and stands before Tai Wai Tse.
Tai Wai Tse- So Sabrina, we meet again.
Sabrina- Yeah, hi! Nice shirt.
Tai Wai Tse growls and rips both sleeves off his shirt revealing powerful, lean muscles.
The referee steps forward and signals them to bow, they do and Sabrina's tempted to use her magic but grits her teeth and refrains. The referee signals the start of the bout and Tai Wai Tse immediately back flips away with a twist and springs back again into a fighting stance. Sabrina runs to the other side of the mat and does a forward roll followed by a sideways roll ending up at Tai Wai Tse's feet. It's not very impressive but she gamely climbs to her feet and thumps him repeatedly in his stomach. After a short while she realises she is making no impact and stops.
Sabrina- Okay I guess upper body isn't my strength, lets go for legs.
Tai Wai Tse puts his hands on his hips as Sabrina walks away once more to give herself room for a flying scissor kick. She runs in, leaps and drops short at his feet again. She gets to her hands and knees and crawls away a little before waving him over.
Sabrina- (Cont.) Can you come over here? I have to ask you a question.
Tai Wai Tse- No way. It's a trick, you'll pull me down.
Sabrina- No I won't. I just want to ask if there's an honourable way to beg for mercy?
Tai Wai Tse- It's not time for mercy yet.
He takes her arm and pulls her back to her feet and she swings her mightiest punch at him. He effortlessly catches her small fist in his large one and trips her as Mr Pool did on their first lesson, she falls on her butt.
Sabrina- How about now?
Sabrina gets to her knees as Tai Wai Tse steps behind her and raises his fist for the killing blow.
Tai Wai Tse- You approached this match with honour Sabrina. Now close your eye's and we'll end it that way.
Sabrina closes her eyes and waits for the fist to fall. He draws it back, the crowd shrink away in horror, Harvey can't look, Mr Pool sucks his knuckles. Tai Wai Tse pats Sabrina on her head with his other hand.
Tai Wai Tse- The UNEI trophy's mine.
And walks away. Mr Pool rushes over to his fallen champion.
Mr Pool- Sabrina are you okay?
Sabrina- I think I bruised my chi, but my conscience is clear. Excuse me, there's something I have to do.
She gets up and walks over to the trophy.
Sabrina- So I guess this is it. I'm giving you to your rightful owner. I'm not a cheater anymore.
Trophy- I know. (Raspberry) Loser!
Sabrina- I'm not going to miss you one bit.
Int. Spellman kitchen Sabrina enters.
Sabrina- Hey aunt Zelda, look.
She lifts up the moral compass and it's firmly pointing to 'Right'
Zelda- Oh you did the right thing. How do you feel?
Sabrina- Sore but good. Where's aunt Hilda? I wanna tell her the news.
Zelda- She's at the symphony. It's her first night playing second chair.
Sabrina- I wish she had beaten that guy.
Zelda- Me to, but what can you do?
Int. Boston Symphony Hall. Hilda sits next to Gustav on the stage as the conductor taps his baton. Gustav looks smugly across to Hilda and raises his finger signalling who's number one. Hilda's had enough of him and with a point and a puff of smoke that nobody seems to notice he's gone. Hilda calmly slides across into the first chair as the other violinist all move up one. With a wave of the baton Hilda leads the orchestra into Mozart.
Int. Sabrina's bedroom. Sabrina's doing her homework at her desk and there's a knock at the door. Her aunts enter.
Zelda- Can we come it?
Hilda- We've got something for you.
She pulled a small gold cup from behind her back and hands it to Sabrina.
Sabrina- Is that a trophy?
Hilda- And it comes up to your ankle.
Sabrina- (Reading) 'world's greatest niece' Oh that's so nice.
She jumps up and hugs her aunts
Zelda- Well you earned it.
Hilda- Fair and square. Hey! What's that around your neck?
Hilda pulls on the red, white and blue ribbon to reveal the medal on the end.
Hilda- It's a gold medal isn't it?
Zelda- Where did get that?
Sabrina- Kerry Strugg gave it to me? Homework time!